Weak Sentences II

Downplaying Actions
Adapted from R.W Harris

Malescribes prefer to use the passive voice, where the subject of the sentence is acted upon (as opposed to the active voice, where the subject performs an action).

Example of passive voice: Tragically, hundreds of lives were lost when the iceberg was rammed by the ship.
Example of active voice: Tragically, hundreds of people died when the ship rammed the iceberg.

Healthy writers see that the passive voice is inappropriate for describing such a dramatic, action-filled event. It shifts the emphasis away from the performer of the action. Therefore, action-voice sentences are usually preferable because they are more direct, energetic, and succinct.

Passive voice construction can also create confusion about responsibility.
Example of passive voice: At this point, the spreadsheet file should be saved.
Example of active voice: At this point, save the speadsheet file.
The meaning of the instruction in the active voice example is clear.

The passive voice is appropriate in certain cases.
Example 1: Following the concert, wine and cheese will be served in the lobby.
In this sentence, it doesn't matter who will be serving the refreshments. The performer isn't important, so the active voice isn't required.

Example 2: The wrecked cab had to be towed to a body shop.
Disclosing the identity of the actor (the tow truck driver) would add nothing to this sentence, so the passive voice is acceptable.

Solution: Reserve the passive voice for sentences in which the actor is either unknown or unimportant.